Life is something we deserve to be excited about. We only get one.
This concept didn’t come to me. I didn’t understand it, see or, or believe it, until I did; until life so blatantly MADE me see.
Leaving a career that was perfect resume material, a cool title, and made my parents proud, when there was no job lined up or promise of income in sight? Terrifying.
Breaking up with the one person who I originally saw myself spending my life with? Not fun.
Losing my ability to walk and be in a wheelchair when my whole life consisted of movement and fitness? Not cool.
What else? I got hit with the car of life, literally and figuratively got hit by a car. In college I had an allergic reaction that almost caused me my life, for 30 minutes the world tested to see if my organs would pull through as my body started to shut down in ICU. Years of struggling with an eating disorder, bad digestion, any strange illnesses…you name it, it happened to me. It was me. I was the opposite of living.
I was dying.
WE ONLY GET ONE LIFE. WHY WAS I FIGHTING IT?
I was made to see myself and other people, to feel, to touch, to breathe, to connect, to live.
Photo above taken on Just Be Yoga graduation day in Santa Cruz, CA, with my Just Be Teachers
Yoga and its teachings, and the family that yoga gave me, gave me the strength to stop fighting my body and my life, and gave me the opportunity to heal. It didn't happen overnight, and it has been a continuous process, but I owe so much to these women that gave me the permission to start to try.
My only job this past six months has been to explore myself, play and fall more madly in love with the child-like me and life...and somehow this incredible journey has led me on a solo trip through the beautiful island of Bali, Indonesia (so many more photos and stories to come!)
I finally feel confident enough to follow my needs to expand, to travel, to be alone, to be healthy, and to give up financial stability and do the things that scared me the most. I realized that when I am grateful and choose to go with the flow of things, that I am living in a state of abundance; I always have more than enough food, I always have a bed to sleep in, I always have a shoulder to cry on, a beautiful place to see, and a person to say “I love you” to.
I no longer fixate on my body as a means of control, or my work status, or pouring everything I am into another human being. Yoga taught me that I am enough, exactly as I am...we are not our titles, our looks, how much we own, our bank accounts, the size of our houses, the size of our bums, or the values our partners or our bosses place on us. We are not human doings, we are human beings, and once I came to terms with this, I gave myself permission to just be.
Yoga changed me and my life, and brought me back to living for culture, art, kindness and connection and believing I can pack my bag and travel the world if I desire.
Yoga gave me a voice to start journaling about my journey and show others the beauty I see every day.
I changed my mindset on what I believed was possible, and my reality changed, too.
Yoga ruined my life as I knew it. It opened up a world of endless possibilities.
Photo taken my first week in Ubud, Bali, at a restaurant down the street from my Homestay on Monkey Forest Road
Melanie and I on our last day of Yoga Teacher Training with Just Be in Santa Cruz, CA
Photo taken after teaching my first class to the High Vibe Yoga kula, at The Yoga Barn, Ubud, Bali